


Following Your Path

by anonfanfic



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, doing my best for the critters, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-04-23 00:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14320602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonfanfic/pseuds/anonfanfic
Summary: Hello fellow Critters. Please enjoy because I can't stop with these two hopeless wlw. Fair warning this fic is not beta'd and may or may not follow canon storylines. It depends on how often I can update verses how much Beauyasha we get on Thursdays. Okay that's all.Find me on Tumblr if you want @anonfanficI also do a nerdy podcast called Nicely Nerdy. Go follow @nicely_nerdy on Twitter.For real that's all now!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow Critters. Please enjoy because I can't stop with these two hopeless wlw. Fair warning this fic is not beta'd and may or may not follow canon storylines. It depends on how often I can update verses how much Beauyasha we get on Thursdays. Okay that's all.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr if you want @anonfanfic
> 
> I also do a nerdy podcast called Nicely Nerdy. Go follow @nicely_nerdy on Twitter. 
> 
> For real that's all now!

Beau sat alone at the long wooden bar. She held the cup of whiskey she was nursing in her slender fingers. With a twist of her wrist she watched the amber liquid spin around glass, looking for anything to escape her own thoughts. 

She had been on this path for quite some time and while her adventures with The Mighty Nein had distracted her, it was moments like this when she was alone late at night that pulled her back into herself. 

“This seat taken?” Fjord’s familiar southern drawl pulled her back to the small pub and away from the dark shadows that clung to her thoughts. 

“It is now,” Beau replied, watching him pull out the stool and sit down next to her. “What are you doing up?” 

“You’re not the only one with a past that likes to chase them.” Fjord pointed at the drink in front of Beau as the bartender came over. “Make it a double.” He said to the gruff looking half-orc, who nodded in understanding. 

“Seems to be about right with our entire group.” Beau agreed taking a drink from her glass and feeling the familiar and welcoming burn as it slid down her throat. 

Fjord held out his hand as the bartender placed his cup of whiskey in front of him. He took a long drink and Beau saw him wince as he swallowed the alcohol. “Maybe that’s why we all found each other. We all have a purpose we can only achieve together.” 

“You’re not getting soft on me, are you?” Beau asked, playfully nudging her green-skinned friend with her elbow. 

Fjord gave a small, deep laugh and shook his head. “It’s simple logic. We couldn’t have done half the shit we’ve done with The Mighty Nein on our own.” 

Beau nodded, always amazed at Fjord’s way of thinking and how much it differed from her own. They had bonded quickly, and yet in some ways she couldn’t understand why. Though she had to say she grew more grateful for Fjord’s friendship every day. 

“This may be the perfect opportunity to be a little more brave than we are on our own.” Fjord leaned closer to Beau and clinked their glasses together. “Follow our hearts, if you will,” He whispered. 

Beau looked up to see the half-orc giving her a knowing smile. She raised an eyebrow and finished off her drink, giving herself time to really think about what he was talking about. 

“Following your heart isn’t that easy when your brain doesn’t cooperate.” Beau countered, her eyes watering slightly from the burn of the whiskey. 

“I think you just solved your own problem.” Fjord took down the last of his drink and placed the glass down on the bar with some silver before getting up. “Take your brain out of the equation.” He gave Beau’s shoulder a nudge and winked at her before walking away. 

Beau placed her own money on the bar before slowly getting up and wrapping her robes around her. 

“Why does he always have to be so damn cryptic?” Beau asked herself quietly before looking at the stairs that lead up to the rooms where she and The Mighty Nein were staying for the night. 

She could just go back to the room she was sharing with Jester. She could tuck herself into bed and let the warmth of the alcohol in her chest ease her into a restless sleep. But something was pulling her in a different direction, the room two doors down from her own. Her heart gave a leap in her chest as she thought about walking up and knocking, wondering what mumbled words would pour from her mouth when Yasha would answer. 

If Yasha would answer.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Beau whispered under her breath as she started up the stairs, still not sure where her final destination would be. 

She got up to the narrow hallway with three doors on either side. Beau’s eyes widened a bit when she saw Caleb walking toward her. 

“Is everyone awake?” She asked, when Caleb walked up to her. 

“Not everyone,” Caleb answered quickly. “Just the right people.” Just like Fjord had done early, she watched Caleb wink at her. Though unlike Fjord, Caleb’s wink looked more like an involuntary twitch. She didn’t have time to respond before Caleb descended the stairs to the bar below. 

Beau took and deep breath and rubbed her hands together. 

“Fuck…” Beau said one more time before walking passed her door and toward Yasha’s room. She lifted her hand to knock, but before she could it swung open revealing the pale skin of the strong barbarian. 

“Oh,” Beau froze with her hand still clenched in a fist ready to knock. “Hey.” She uncurled her fingers and gave Yasha an awkward wave. 

Yasha looked surprised to see Beau standing in front of her. She looked down at her feet and cleared her throat. “Um, hi.” She looked back up at Beau with a look of confusion and something else Beau couldn’t quite place. She really needed to get better at dealing with emotions. 

Both women stood there and after a few seconds of silence Beau realized her hand was still up in the air. She brought it down to her side and licked her lips. “How-how are you?” 

“Uh-Fine. Caleb wanted to talk to me earlier and he just left. I was about to go for a walk.” Yasha took a deep breath, her right hand fiddling with the hem of her ripped shirt. 

“Oh, should I…” Beau jumped back to let Yasha walk passed her. “Should I let you do that? I don’t want to interrupt.” She could feel the small amount of confidence she had starting to shatter. 

“Actually,” Yasha’s jaw clenched. “I may have been looking for you.” 

Beau’s eyebrows shot up and a warmth immediately started to spread through her chest. “Really?” She stammered, moving a little closer to the doorway again. 

“Do you...do you want to come in?” Yasha spoke quickly, all of her words nearly running together. Somehow Beau caught her question and nodded without hesitation. 

Yasha took a step back and let Beau walk into her room. Beau knew it was a big move for Yasha to allow anyone other than Molly into her personal space. Maybe this night was going to be the start of a new chapter for Beau. A chance to actually follow her heart. 

Beau walked into the room, not sure what she was expecting to see. It was a simple room, exactly like the one she shared with Jester. The main difference was the other small bed in the room held Yasha’s sword and tattered jacket. 

So, why were you looking for me?” Beau tried to hide the nervous waver in her voice. It astounded her that she could jump into battle, catch arrows for gods sake, but put her in a room with a beautiful, powerful woman and she was useless. 

Yasha closed the door and turned to face Beau. “Caleb came to me earlier and he was talking about all of us being together. He said something about us having a purpose that we could only accomplish together. Then, he started getting nervous and stammered a lot before excusing himself.”

Beau nodded and smiled a little at the mental image of constantly nervous Caleb. “Sounds about right.” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to share with Yasha that Fjord had met her at the bar and said something very similar. 

“Oh,” Yasha exclaimed, holding up a hand as if just remembering something. “I also wanted to give you something.” 

Beau was taken aback by this. She watched as Yasha walked over to the spare bed that her weapon was resting on and pulled out a small box from under the bed. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Beau said sheepishly, taking the box that Yasha handed her. “I mean you know you didn’t have to-I didn’t get you-I-uh..” Beau once again stumbled over her words before taking a steadying breath. “Thank you.” 

Yasha seemed to have the hints of a smile on her face as she nodded in response to Beau’s thanks. 

Beau opened the box slowly and carefully pushed aside the thin paper covering the gift inside. She had to stop her jaw from dropping when she saw the small pendant gleaming up at her. It was a beautiful, intricate metal flower pendant with small blue gems perfectly placed on each of the six petals. 

“I thought the blue would go well with your robes.” Yasha dug the toe of one of her boots into the worn wooden floor of the room. Beau could tell she was trying with everything she had not to look away. 

Beau tried to pin the pendent onto her robes, but her hands were trembling with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Her palms felt clammy as she tried to get her fingers to actually function. She had no idea when she was down at the bar that her night would take such an unexpected turn. 

“Here.” Yasha reached over, her hand cupping Beau’s and helping her pin the pendant to her robes. It took a long second for Beau to realize that Yasha hadn’t moved, her hand still holding Beau’s timidly. 

“Sorry,” Yasha finally said, trying to pull her hand away. 

“No, don’t,” Beau spoke up before she could stop herself. She refused to let her brain stop her this time, it was her heart’s turn to shine. 

Beau looked up at Yasha and saw a light pink coloring her pale cheeks. She reached up slowly and cupped Yasha’s cheek, running her thumb over her warm skin. 

“Can I…” Before Beau could even ask the question Yasha was nodding and leaning down. 

Their lips met and Beau felt all of the air leave her body. It was like she was levitating and the only thing keeping her on this plane was Yasha. Beau felt Yasha’s strong arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer. This feeling was beyond anything Beau could ever describe, it was like nothing else in the entire world mattered. The world could be crumbling into ash around them and the only thing Beau would care about is Yasha’s lips pressed so firmly against her own. 

After a few minutes they broke apart, both women trying to catch their breath as they looked at each other. 

Yasha’s expression darkened for a quick moment and she swallowed heavily. “I should try to sleep.” 

Beau was confused, though it wasn’t surprising that Yasha was still trying to distance herself. Maybe she just had a moment of weakness and once Beau left the room they’d never talk about the kiss again. Maybe that would be for the best, neither of them needed the complications of being with someone right now. 

“Yeah,” Beau reached up and rubbed the back of her own neck sheepishly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow I guess.” She turned and walked out of the room without another word. 

The door closed with a loud click behind her and with that Beau felt herself snap back to the reality that she had been trying to escape most of her life. She reached up and rubbed her eyes, her left hand moving down to grasp the pendant pinned to her chest. 

Whatever had happened tonight Beau knew that she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up again. If it was just for tonight, no one else needed to know. Beau sighed and walked slowly back to her room, her lips still buzzing and her heart still thumping hard against her chest. There was no way she was sleeping tonight.


	2. Just A Spell

Beau woke up the next morning with a dull headache centered in the back of her head. She opened her eyes just enough to see that Jester had pulled back the curtains of their window, allowing the morning sunlight to flood the small room. 

“Ugh,” Beau groaned, yanking her pillow from underneath her head and pressing it over her face. “How did I get stuck with the morning person?” 

“Just lucky I guess.” Jester skipped around the room, picking up her things - as well as random things she had “found” around the inn - and shoving them into her bag.

Beau could hear Jester’s humming through the thin pillow and groaned even louder. It didn’t take long for the memories of last night to start piecing themselves together in her mind. Beau tired to convince herself that it had to be a dream. There was no way she had been brave enough to go to Yasha’s room. 

Beau felt a tap on her back, followed by a hard tap on her back. 

“Beau...Beau...where did you go last night?” Jester cooed, continuing to poke Jester. “I heard you come in really early the morning.”

Jester wasn’t going to relent anytime soon and Beau knew it. The monk had two options, continue to try and ignore Jester or get up and try to pretend like she didn’t kiss Yasha a few hours ago. 

With one last loud groan, Beau chose the latter. 

“I’m up!” She sat up in bed and looked over to see Jester’s playful expression on her blue face. “I was at the bar late last night with Fjord and then ran into Caleb.” It was almost the truth, just omitting a few of the details. 

Jester pouted dramatically at Beau. “Why wasn’t I invited to the party?” 

“Wasn’t much of a party.” Beau got up, breaking eye contact with Jester as she started collecting her own things from around the small room. 

Thankfully something in the room distracted Jester enough to drop the subject. Beau breathed out slowly as she finished up packing and dropped her bag on the bed. 

Beau watched Jester try and shove the brass lantern that had been sitting on the small table between their bed into her bag.

There was a knock on the door and Jester froze mid-push. 

“Who is it?” The question sounded like a song, with a small edge of suspicion. 

“It’s Fjord, we’re meeting downstairs to talk about our next move.” 

Jester’s posture immediately relaxed and her eyes fluttered, even though Fjord couldn’t see her through the door. “We’ll be right down.” Beau could have sworn she heard the blue tiefling mutter “Oskar.” Who just so happened to be the half-orc lead of the trashy romance novel Jester wouldn’t stop talking about for weeks. 

After a moment or two of some more struggling and unhappy grunts Jester gave up on taking the lantern. She walked it back over to the table and Beau watched as she put it back, but not before shoving a small slip of paper underneath. 

“I think you did a good job of picking this place clean.” Beau gave the compliantment as she looked around the room with a satisfied nod. “We should go meet the others.” She picked up her bag from the bed and watched Jester grab her own bag and waltz out of the room. 

By the time they walked down the narrow staircase the rest of the group was already downstairs waiting for them. Beau’s eyes scanned the room, looking at each member of the group while they walked down the stairs. 

Caleb and Nott were huddled in a corner, they looked like they were deep in discussion about something. Fjord was eating a plate of food at the table next to Caleb and Nott. Molly was standing up, leaning against the bar lazily shuffling a deck of cards. Yasha had her back to the stairs as she talked softly to Molly at the bar. Beau felt her breath catch in her throat and dropped her gaze to her feet. 

They made their way over to the group, Jester skipping ahead. 

“Morning.” Fjord greeted them. Even though she wasn’t looking at him Beau could hear the smile that was plastered on his face. “Sleep well?” 

Beau heard Yasha clear her throat and finally took the chance to look up at the group. 

“It was fine,” Beau spoke briskly, feeling a warmth rising in her cheeks that made her even more uncomfortable. “What’s our next move? I’d kill to kill something right now.” 

When she looked at Fjord she saw the sly smile on his face that she had suspected would be there. Caleb and Nott were still paying no attention to anyone else in the group. Molly had stopped shuffling the cards and was in the process of stowing them away in his robes. Yasha’s eyes were focused on the rough wood of the bar in front of her. Beau could see Jester out of the corner of her eye look from her face to Yasha’s and back again. 

“Zone of Truth,” Jester whispered, and before Beau could react she felt a strange energy start at her head and move slowly down her body. Looking around she could see Nott, Fjord, and Yasha seemingly experiencing a similar sensation. 

Jester turned on Beau, a look of pure joy on her small features. “What aren’t you telling me about last night?”   
Beau’s hands curled into fists and she felt a warm sweat starting to form at the nape of her neck. She knew she couldn’t lie and trying to change the subject would only make Jester press her more. 

“I…” Beau chanced a look in Yasha’s direction and saw her staring back, her expression looking like Beau felt - nervous and unsure of what to do. She felt trapped and Beau hated that feeling, she despised feeling like she couldn’t escape. 

“We kissed.” Everyone’s head turned to Yasha, her normally pale skin was dotted with spots of pink. “Beau and I kissed last night.” 

Beau heard Jester let out a small squeal of delight and somehow that made it so much worse. 

“Can we drop this now?” Yasha grabbed the half-full glass of ale in front of her and finishing it off. “It didn’t mean anything. We were both tired and had a few drinks. That’s all.” 

Beau’s heart dropped and her head followed, she couldn’t tell if Yasha was just trying to play down their encounter or if that was really how she felt about last night. Either way the words stung, but she wouldn’t let anyone know it. 

“Yeah,” Beau added, trying to push down the sharp pain in her cheat. “That’s all. Time to move on.” She was brisk with her words, maybe too brisk. When she looked back up she saw Yasha pursing her lips and avoiding any eye contact. 

Fjord cleared his throat, lifting his right hand to rub the back of his neck. It was obvious everyone was uncomfortable. Everyone expect for Jester. 

“You kissed?” The smile Jester’s face was so wide it almost looked painted on. “Was it good?” She wiggled her eyebrows in Beau’s direction playfully. 

Beau felt an anger start to burn like hot metal in the pit of her stomach. She had never been one to reveal much about herself and not only was she forced to talk, it was looking like what she had felt last night hadn’t been reciprocated by Yasha.

The door to the inn swung open with a loud bang before Beau could find the words to try and get out of the situation. A young halfling man stood in the doorway, he was bent forward holding his stomach with the morning light beaming in behind him. When he walked inside Beau saw he was covered in dirt and blood, his clothing ripped and burned in places. 

“Please help.” He staggered in and collapsed onto the nearest chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're liking the Beauyasha goodness. I'll try and keep up on this as much as possible. Again, I'll try and keep some canon aspects in the story. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> I also have a podcast. Find it on Twitter: @nicely_nerdy
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	3. Onward to Battle

Fjord was the first one to the halfling, but the rest of the group wasn’t far behind. Beau felt a sense of relief wash over her that didn’t quite fit the atmosphere. Everyone’s attention was now on the halfling and she could finally let out the breath she’d been holding. The anger in her stomach started to dissipate as she grabbed a chair at the table with the rest of her group. 

“What happened to you?” Fjord asked, looking over the halfling’s disheveled appearance now that they were closer. Beau could smell burnt flesh and sweat coming from the stranger in waves. 

“Trolls attacked my village, just south,” He gulped in air as he spoke, a little trickle of blood starting to come from the corner of his mouth. “They left no survivors.” 

“You’re here,” Beau couldn’t help but speak up. She had always been suspicious of everyone, it was just in her nature. 

“Beau, I doubt now is the time to question…” Fjord started to chastise her, but the halfling got up onto shaky legs and looked directly at Beau. 

“I watched my people get slaughtered and barely made it out. You can help or you can leave me be, I don’t wish to have my existence questioned.” His clear blue eyes narrowed in challenge. 

Beau held her hands up to surrender, though she still had an uneasy feeling in the back of her mind. It was that she didn’t trust most people, it was that most people really enjoyed screwing her over and she hated it. 

“We’re sorry, please continue. We’ll try to help if we can.” Fjord offered the halfling the seat he had just vacated. “What’s your name, friend?” He asked, as the halfling sat down, still eyeing Beau. 

“I’m Laster,” He answered, looking over to Fjord and offering his hand. 

“I’m Fjord.” He reached out and grasped Laster’s hand, giving it a firm shake. “This group here is the Mighty Nein.” Fjord gestured around at the faces surrounding them. 

“I’m Frillywilly.” Jester smiled and held out her hand Lester. “I’m sure you’ve heard of our group. We are really strong and save a lot of people.” 

“You...you save people?” Laster looked around as if not believing her. 

“Yeah, we are well known you probably just haven’t heard about us yet.” Jester folded her arms and stuck up her nose at him. “We could probably take on those trolls for you with no trouble at all.” 

“With a hand tied behind our backs,” Nott added, half of her face obscured by her porcelain mask. 

Laster gave her a long, curious look, his head tilting slightly to the side trying to get a better look at her. 

“Wh..wh..where did these trolls come from?” Caleb spoke louder than necessary in such a small space, trying to get the halflings attention. 

Laster looked over at Caleb, fear returning to his blue eyes. “They came from the woods in the night. The village was burning before most of my people were awake.” 

Beau looked over and saw Caleb’s eyes grow dark at the mention of fire, she swore she saw a flicker of flame before he blinked and it was gone. 

“Can you hunt them and dispose of them?” Laster asked, hopefully looking from face to face. 

“Is there a reward?” Jester asked, putting her elbow on the table and leaning her chin on her hand. “We usually work for large rewards.” She fluttered her long eyelashes at Laster and smiled. 

Fjord held up a hand and cleared his throat. “I’m sure, in this case, we can make an exception on the fee. These monsters have destroyed a village and killed innocent people.” 

Laster reached into his burned cloak and pulled out a small, leather pouch. 

“No, no, that's not…” Fjord started to protest until the platinum hit the wooden table. 

Every single eye surrounding the table locked onto the coins now spread across the table. Beau counted quickly, her eyes getting bigger with each number. There were five platinum pieces sitting in front of her. She could practically hear Nott panting next to her. 

“Where…” Molly spoke for the first time since the halfling entered the room.

Laster shook his head and lowered his voice. “I will give you this for your services. No questions on either side. Do we have a deal?” 

Beau and the rest of the Mighty Nein looked at each other and one by one they all nodded. Everyone in the group had their reasons for agreeing to their new mission, but they were all ready to face the new threat together. 

Fjord was the first one to get up and the others followed suit. Jester reached out and snatched the platinum pieces from the table. 

“I’ll divide this up later.” 

Beau could see Nott’s eyes carefully watching Jester’s hand as she pocketed the coins. She looked back and saw Fjord and Molly getting directions from Laster to their next battle. 

Fjord rose from the table and looked from one person to the next before nodded. “We should head out. We can’t let these monsters continue their path of destruction on innocent villages.”

“Let’s kick some ass!” Jester jumped from her seat and pumped her tiny fist in the air. Nott joined her as the shutters to all the windows slammed open with a loud crash.

The Mighty Nein made their way out of the small tavern and onto the streets of the still busy city. 

It felt like an eternity since the night before, it was almost like the entire night had been a dream. Beau got on one of the groups horses and brought a hand to her lips as if trying to remember how it felt when Yasha’s lips were pressed against them. A jolt of electricity shot through her back at the hazy memory. 

It made her feel more awake, but in the same moment she remembered Yasha’s reluctance to acknowledge the importance of the moment they shared. Beau’s back straightened as she lead the horse down the road and out of the city with the rest of her group. If Yasha wanted to forget their kiss that is exactly what Beau would do. She had other things to busy her mind, like the epic battle they were about to charge into. 

Beau felt her heart starting to harden toward any idea of affection, she had been disappointed enough in her life to not let her guard down again. 

They traveled across the long, flat road for about thirty minutes, Fjord and Jester at the front of the group with their cart. Beau had been lost in thought for most of the journey, not taking in a lot of their surroundings. It wasn’t until she felt someone coming up behind her that she looked around. She turned to her left and saw Yasha riding a light brown horse with a white patch over it’s left eye. 

“Beau,” Yasha started, picking up her pace enough to ride next to Beau on the narrow road. “I’d like to talk…” 

“Why, I mean we don’t really have much to talk about, right?” Beau’s voice was sharper and more accusatory than she intended. She looked straight ahead at the fading sunlight and blinked a few times. She wasn’t trying to be as harsh as she sounded, but she couldn’t pretend like Yasha’s earlier dismissal didn’t hurt her. 

“What happened...last night...I think…” Yasha’s voice faltered and she stuttered through her broken sentence before Beau cut her off. 

“Nothing happened last night,” Beau replied shortly, her eyes still fixed on the darkening horizon. “Isn’t that what you said?” Beau finally looked over to Yasha and saw a sadness in her dual colored eyes. She fought back the urge to second guess her decision to distance herself from Yasha. It was the right thing to do. Clearly they were both fucking messes who had no business trying to be with each other, at least not right now. 

“Right, um right I just..” Yasha cleared her throat and tried to start again, but this time to was Molly voice that cut her off. 

“There are tracks coming from the woods and moving south.” He pointed to the left of the road and looking closer at the coarse dirt Beau saw two sets of large footprints coming front the thick trees to her far left. “We’re close.” 

Beau used the interruption as an excuse to push her horse forward and away from Yasha. She rode to the front of the group, trying not to think of the hurt look on Yasha’s face at her dismissal. 

The group rode for another five minutes, following the large sets of tracks before the ruined village came into view. 

There was still smoke curling from some of the small houses and bits of embers still glowed an angry red on pieces of wood and straw that lay across the roads and broken carts. 

“There’s nothing left.” Fjord’s voice sounded thin and soft as they took in the devastation around them. 

Beau looked around the burned village and saw bodies all around. Some of the bodies were burned beyond recognition, but others had been beaten as they tried to escape. There were dark pools of blood around some of the bodies that lay motionless on the roads. The poor halflings had been taken completely by surprise by the attack, it was clear they had been helpless to defend themselves. 

“Laster was lucky to make it out of this alive,” Molly commented, covering his mouth with a gold laced piece of cloth to avoid the swirls of ash that blew through the warm air. 

“Yeah, lucky,” Beau added softly, a small piece of her still questioning the surviving halfling.   
A loud roar echoed around them followed by another louder roar and the entire group turned to find the source. 

“Now you die!” A large troll bellowed from the edge of the woods just north of the village. They must have gone back into the forest once they had decimated the village. Another larger troll appeared next to the first one and growled as he looked at the group. 

“We are hungry!” The larger troll bellowed. 

“You will starve!” Beau yelled back, adrenaline pumping through her as her fighting instinct kicked in. She saw red and wanted to bury her staff deep into the trolls soft head and make it pay for what it had done. 

Beau charged forward, holding her staff in her right hand. She didn’t wait for the rest of her group. The only thing on her mind was bloodlust and the need to fight something she could actually destroy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it another chapter in the books...(pun reluctantly intended) 
> 
> I've started to realize that telling a story like this has different obstacles than I'm used to facing when writing. I hope you are still enjoying the story. It is driving further from canon, but that's alright. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: @anonfanfic
> 
> Thanks for the support!!


	4. Against The World

Beau let out a loud yell as she charged toward one of the monstrous trolls standing at the edge of the woods. She watched as one of them flexed his arm and lifted his club above his head, starting to swing the heavy weapon down in her direction. She gave the troll a cocky smile and, at the last moment, dropped to her knees and slid along the grass and dirt, feeling the wind from the troll’s swing whoosh over her as he missed.

As she slid, Beau slammed her staff into the meaty calf of the troll. She heard it let out a roar at the impact, and attempted a second strike only to have it just graze the troll’s rough skin. Beau’s momentum stopped her short and she was able to look up in time to see the second troll’s club coming down fast. She tried to move, but with her legs trapped under her, she couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. Beau lifted her hands above her head in a last-ditch attempt to shield herself from the blow.

The full force of the club came down on her. She felt her body sink a few inches into the ground as her vision blurred for a moment. Before she could try and get away, the troll lunged at her again, this time with its huge hand and jagged, dirty claws. 

Beau couldn’t stop the yelp of pain that escaped as she felt the sharp impact of the claws against her back and face. The troll attacked any part of her it could reach with unrelenting force. He reached out one more time with another claw strike and this one brought Beau down to the ground, her face falling into the hard dirt. She was barely clinging to consciousness when she felt the last club strike of the first troll come down on her. She could taste the dirt and the familiar coppery tinge of blood, and Beau knew she couldn’t hold on much longer. The last thing she heard before being consumed by darkness was Yasha’s voice yelling something she couldn’t make out. 

_Yasha._ Beau wondered if she’d ever get to see her or any of her friends again. 

“Wakey, wakey,” Jester cooed above Beau’s head. For half a second Beau thought they were still at the inn and everything else had been a dream. The only thing that shattered the illusion was the pounding headache she was currently experiencing. 

Beau groaned and slowly opened her eyes. “What happened?” 

“You ran at two trolls with just your staff and they made a Beau angel in the dirt,” Jester explained with a bright smile. “You can still see it over there.” Beau watched her point somewhere behind her. 

“You’re just lucky Yasha made it in enough time so that Jester could revive you. Those trolls were doing a number on you,” Fjord added, standing behind Jester with his arms crossed. “A little reckless running into battle without your team.” 

Beau lifted herself onto her elbows and looked around at the rest of the Mighty Nein that were standing around her. 

“Well, where’s Yasha so I can thank her for saving me?” Beau asked, a bit of sarcasm edging her words. 

She watched the group exchanged quick glances and before anyone could open their mouth to explain Beau knew that Yasha was gone again. 

“Doesn’t even stick around for a thank you,” Beau sighed, standing up and trying to brush most of the dirt from her robes. “Why am I not surprised?” She noticed the spots of dried blood on her robes and caked in with the dirt pn her knuckles. She rubbed her hands together and winced a little at the pain of the open cuts all over them. 

“So, what now? Back to the town to let the halfling know we took care of his problem?” Beau tried to brush off the hurt feeling in her chest. She could see the rest of her group still stealing quick glances at each other as she pretended to busy herself fixing her robes. 

“Right, let’s head back and let Laster know the trolls won’t be a problem anymore. Maybe it will give him some small comfort,” Fjord cleared his throat and began to make his way back to their horses and cart. The others followed, leaving Beau and Molly as the only two hanging back.  
“I’ve known Yasha for a little while now and one thing about her character is certain, she always comes back home.” Molly looked at his perfectly manicured nails, seemingly trying to make his comments seem dismissive. 

“What happens if we aren’t home to her anymore?” Beau countered, looking up at Molly after fastening her robe for the sixth time. 

“Another thing I know about her is that her heart is just as big as she is, if not bigger. She’ll be back. We just have to give her time.” Molly put his hands down and turned to walk back to the group. 

“Wait.” Beau turned to face Molly. He stopped, but kept his back to her. “Why are you telling me all of this?” Molly and Beau had a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on a lot of things. They had a rough relationship a lot of the time and it was a little weird that Molly appeared to be reaching out to her. Everything about these last few days had been weird; it was starting to make Beau’s head spin. 

Molly sighed and turned his head to look at Beau over his shoulder. “Blame it on being a hopeless romantic. Could just be lack of sleep. We may never know.” Molly’s lips curled into a soft smile before turning back and continuing to walk toward the rest of their friends. 

Beau watched him walk for a few minutes before pulling out a small leather notebook from the inside of her robes. She opened it and was greeted by the familiar scent of parchment. A small piece of coal lay between two pages where Beau had left it. She picked it up and rolled it between her fingers, watching the black start to smear. Beau flipped to a blank page in her book and drew a small line on the top of the page. 

_Day 1._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's a slow burn. A sllooowww burn. Let me know what you think. Find me on Tumblr: @anonfanfic and if you want Twitter: @nicely_nerdy (I'm doing a little giveaway there) Stay tuned for the next chapter.


	5. One Less Page

_Day 15._

The page was half full with small lines. Beau stared at it until her vision started to blur. It was odd, in a way it felt like Yasha had just left and in another sense Beau felt like it had been forever. 

They had been back to see Laster, who Beau still had a hard time trusting, and told him about their victory against the trolls. After that it was more of the same, they found themselves on missions that would get them tidy sums and extend the renowned of The Mighty Nein.  
Beau felt herself going through the motions and trying to engage with the rest of her team, but as the days passed she could feel her attention slipping away. It was like the harder she tried to push Yasha from her thoughts, the more she invaded every corner of her mind. 

“Beau...Beau...BEAU!” 

Beau looked up from her seat in the local bakery to see Jester staring at her with a bemused expression on her face. She had her hand outstretched toward Beau with a donut sitting in her palm. 

“Would you like a donut? I know I like my sweets when I miss someone.” Jester smiled, pushing the donut closer to Beau’s nose. Beau looked around and saw that the others were still at the long wooden counter ordering their treats. 

“What makes you think I miss someone?” Beau snatched the donut from Jester hand and took a large bite. 

Jester gave Beau a knowing look and took a bite of her own donut. “The Traveler speaks to me,” Jester spoke in a theatrical voice and waved her arms in the air. “Also, you talk in your sleep.” She smiled and nibbled at her own donut.

Beau could feel a warmth creep up her neck and to her cheeks. She hated feeling vulnerable. She also hated talking about what made her vulnerable.

“You miss Yasha, yes?” Jester leaned in and wiggled her eyebrows. “I hear you whisper her name a lot.” 

Beau chewed slowly and tried to find a way out of this incredibly uncomfortable conversation. She shifted in her seat and took another quick glance at the rest of the group still up by the counter and paying them no mind.

“Maybe I’m mad that she left. Ever think of that?” Beau asked, her left eyebrow lifting in a silent challenge. “She constantly fucks us when she takes off.” 

Jester leaned closer with a sly grin on her face. “ _Interesting_ choice of words.”

Before Beau could think about a comeback the rest of the group was surrounding them. She let their excited conversations carry away anything she was going to say to Jester. The blue tiefling had clearly lost interest in her at the moment. Nott had offered her another donut, which Jester gladly accepted. 

Beau let herself get lost in her own thoughts for a moment while the group went over what they had gotten from the small bakery. She looked up and saw Jester glancing at her from the corner of her eye. She knew that she’d have to answer Jester’s questions sooner or later, for now she’d choose later. 

“Where are we heading now? I would like a place with books, if we can find that.” Caleb stuttered through the last few words, not making eye contact with anyone other than Nott. 

“I think that can be arranged.” Fjord smiled, giving Caleb a clap on the back. Beau watched Caleb slowly curl into himself more and take a small step away from Fjord, clearly uncomfortable with the unwanted physical contact. 

Jester pulled out the large map from her bag and rolled it out on the table in front of them.

“Where do we want to go?” She asked, running a blue finger along the thick parchment. Her finger stopped and she let out a gasp. “Hupperdook!”

Nott’s ear perked up at the name and she nodded. “Yes, yes, let’s go to Hupperdook!” 

Jester and Nott’s voices joined in a unified chant of ‘Hupperdook, Hupperdook!’ 

The rest of the group looked at each other and shrugged, seeing no reason why they couldn’t go to the town. Jester had been fascinated with it since they purchased the map. 

“Alright, alright. We can head in the direction of Hupperduke.” Fjord put up his hands to try and silence both of them. 

“Yes!” Jester pumped her fists in the air and as she did the wooden shutters of the two small windows in the shop burst open with a loud bang. Every eye in the bakery was on The Mighty Nein as Jester started to dance in circles. 

“We should go.” Beau got up and shouldered her staff. In the back of her mind she wondered how far Yasha would be able to track them. Hupperduke was at least a two day journey, the farthest they had traveled without her. She thought about asking, but she didn’t think she could take the looks she’d get from everybody if she did. 

Jester gathered up the map and the rest of her treats and the group was on their way to the town of Hupperduke. 

Beau hopped on one of the horses, happy to have time where she didn’t have to answer anyone’s questions. It was confusing enough dealing with her own feelings, let alone having to stammer through an excuse every time someone caught her daydreaming. She missed Yasha, yes, but she was also upset with Yasha for closing her out after their kiss and leaving once again.

Thankfully no one bother Beau as they traveled toward their next destination. She allowed herself to get carried away in thought a few times while her horse followed the cart. How had she fallen so hard for Yasha so quickly? There was just something about her that made Beau want to know everything about her. 

“What’s that up there?” Molly yelled over his shoulder from his own horse. The cart came to a stop and Beau barely had time to shake herself out of her thoughts before pulling back on the reigns. 

Beau looked up and saw three large, looming figures surrounding a much smaller silhouette. 

“Is that Yasha?” Molly called out, taking off toward the figures without waiting for an answer. 

It only took a second for Beau to register the name and she was not far behind Molly, her horse kicking up dirt and gravel as it galloped across the road. Beau’s mind was racing as she felt the wind whipping her hair and robes around her. Her eyes focused on the single figure being surrounded and immediately recognized Yasha with her sword drawn and face bruised and bloodied. 

“They’re Gnolls!” Molly yelled, drawing one of his blades and dragging it across his neck as his own horse carried him toward the battle. 

Beau slowed her horse down about 40 yards from the fight and jumped from it’s back in one swift move. She moved her staff in mid-air so she could land without issue and take off at a sprint. Molly had already dismounted and was just a few yards in front of her by the time they reached the Gnolls. 

Beau surged passed Molly and lifted her staff to make a strike at the first Gnoll she reached. The staff landed with a thud across the Gnoll’s spine, causing it’s muscular back to arch and tense in pain. Her second strike cracked the Gnoll across the snout. She heard the satisfying crunch of a broken bone as she squared up to the beast. 

Molly wasn’t far behind her, his sword slicing into the left hamstring of the same Gnoll Beau had just attacked. She watched as it let out a howl of pain, nearly falling over as its leg started to give out from under its weight. Molly swung again, this time the sword finding purchase in the Gnoll’s gut. Beau watched, as the sword was pulled out a burst of crimson stained the fur around the deep gash. The Gnoll seemed to choke for a moment before falling to the ground. Molly flicked his wrist and blood splattered over the now unmoving body. 

“That’s one down.” He smiled, flourishing his weapons and waving over at Yasha who had now taken notice of them. “Hello darling.” 

Beau could see their sudden appearance had thrown Yasha off and she was playing defense against the larger of the two remaining Gnolls. The moment Beau’s eyes found Yasha she knew she was in trouble. Her heart felt like it was going to skip right out of her chest. Everything else around her seemed to freeze for a minute. That was until she felt sharp teeth dig into her shoulder. 

“Ah!” Beau yelled, pulling her body away from the Gnoll before it could grab her again. “Damn it, these are my favorite robes.” She felt the wound throb as she swung her staff and cracked the Gnoll under the chin with a direct hit. She watched Molly twist with ungodly agility and hit the Gnoll with both of his swords along its chest and side, leaving skin and muscle visible from beneath the thick fur.

The Gnoll let out a pained howl and dropped to its knees trying to cover the fresh wounds. Beau saw the opportunity and lunged once again with her staff, watching as it made contact with the Gnoll’s lower jaw and dislocated completely. The beast fell to the ground, joining its ally in a bloodied heap on the hard ground. 

Beau looked up just in time to see Yasha take a hard hit from the last Gnoll that knocked her to the ground. She felt her heart jump into her throat, but before she could move Molly was on top of the Gnoll’s back, slicing and cutting away at it’s large, furry body. 

The last Gnoll fell to the ground with a loud crash, missing Yasha’s prone body by inches. 

Beau ran over without thinking and scooped Yasha up in her arms. 

“Hey, hey, wake up!” Beau gently shook Yasha. “Come on!” Beau reached into her robes and tried to find anything that could help. 

“She’ll be a-okay. Don’t you worry.” Jester came out of nowhere and sat down cross-legged next to Beau. The rest of the Mighty Nein now joining them among the dead Gnolls

Jester reached out and touched Yasha’s arm, closing her eyes for a moment and grasping her symbol for the Traveler. Beau watched as Yasha almost seemed to glow dimly as Jester finished muttering some words under her breath. 

Yasha’s eye fluttered open and looked up at Beau. As they locked eyes a mixture of feelings washed over Beau, she was relieved seeing Yasha looking up at her, upset that this was how they were reunited, and suddenly embarrassed to be in such an intimate situation with someone she had tried so hard to forget. 

“Welcome back, Yasha!” Jester declared, holding up her arms and smiling. 

Beau cleared her throat and moved to stand up. Yasha looked around and sat up to stare at the faces now surrounding her, clearly still confused by their appearance.

“Yeah, welcome back,” Beau said dismissively, brushing off her robes and turning to walk back to the road they had been traveling on. Beau wasn’t prepared to face Yasha or the flickering feelings she had for her yet. She reached into her robes and pulled out her leather journal opening it to the page with all the small marks and tearing it out. 

_Day 1, she’s back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! Hope you like the latest chapter. I'm just giving up on most canon things altogether at this point. Let me know what you think. Once more I will say this is a SLOWWWW BURRRNNNN. I'll do my best to keep updates as close together as possible. Thank you for reading and supporting!! :D


	6. Meeting A New Friend

Beau had tried everything she could think of to avoid talking to Yasha. She had a deep conversation with Caleb about books for _two hours_ , only falling asleep once during Caleb’s droning monologue. She had even gone as far as faking a coughing fit, she coughed so hard Beau thought she dislocated one of her ribs. 

After a few days she was running out of ways to avoid Yasha. Beau knew it was only a matter of time before they’d have to talk. 

The group had been traveling for about two days. Beau had been pulling up the rear of the party most of the time, the sight of horse ass becoming a welcome sight to expressing any feelings. 

“Hey.” 

Beau hadn’t noticed Yasha ride up next to her.

“Oh, hey,” Beau tried to sound nonchalant, keeping her eyes on the dirt road in front of her. 

“Can we talk?” Yasha asked.

Beau shrugged, still trying to appear nonplussed by the whole situation - even though she could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest and her hands getting clammy against the leather reins. 

“Sure, what do you want to talk about? Caleb bored me the other day about different types of magic.” Beau forced out a laugh, her eyes still locked on the darkening horizon. 

“No..I, uh no,” Yasha started, stuttering through a few words. “I wanted to talk about what happened...before I left.” The last three words trailed off, nearly disappearing into the soft breeze around them. 

“Not much to talk about, didn’t we decide that it was nothing? We’d both had a few drinks after all,” Beau repeated the words that Yasha had used to dismiss their kiss the morning after. A flicker of anger was starting to ignite in the pit of her stomach as she remembered standing there listening to Yasha’s excuses.

Beau could see, out of the corner of her eye, a light pink tinge appear on Yasha’s normally pale cheeks. Beau knew it was a low blow, but she couldn’t help but try to make Yasha feel like she’d felt the fifteen days she was gone. 

There was a long beat where neither of them spoke. Beau felt slightly vindicated that she had rendered Yasha speechless. She already hated talking about feelings, dealing with them made her fucking pissed. 

“Whoa!”

Fjord’s southern drawl pulled Beau from her internal anger. She looked up to see the rest of the group slowing down. She tilted her head curiously and nudged her horse forward, not waiting for Yasha. 

“What is it?” Beau asked, when she got up to Fjord and Jester in the cart. 

Fjord didn’t answer, he just pointed at a figure standing in the middle of the road, their features obscured by the thick trees lining the road. 

“More like, who is it,” Jester let out a snort of laughter at her own joke. 

Beau cracked a little smile at her friend, “I’ll go check it out,” She sighed, hoping off her horse and handing the reins to Fjord. 

“Watch yourself,” Fjord advised, taking the reins and giving Beau an encouraging nod. 

Beau gave a small nod back and started to walk toward the shadowed stranger. When she got closer Beau saw that whoever it was stood at least a foot smaller than she did. She also saw a wisping line of smoke coming from the person’s mouth. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Beau called, a few feet closer to the stranger. 

“Who the fuck are you?!” The voice shot back quickly. 

“My name’s Beau, now who the fuck are you?” She asked again, feeling a little put off by the person’s tone. Though she was very aware that interacting with other people wasn’t really her best quality.

“I’m fucking Keg, what do you want?” The person called back, reaching for something on their back.

“Don’t you fucking pull anything, I’ve got people with me.” Beau warned, gripping her staff in her right hand.

“Are we fighting? What the fuck is this? I’m just walking and you come up to me like we’re going to fight!” Keg yelled back, pulling out what looked like a giant axe. 

“What going on up there?!” Nott’s voice called from behind Beau. “Am I killing something?” 

“If we’re fighting can we move this along? I’ve got places to be.” Keg sounded exasperated as she held up two heavy looking weapons now. The situation was getting out of hand and Beau wasn’t the best with words. She did know how to fight and if it came to it, she’d do what needed to be done to protect herself and her friends. She felt the wooden staff in her hands give as she gripped it a little tighter.

Beau felt a familiar tingle behind her ear and a second later Caleb’s voice whispered like he was standing next to her.

“Make conversation.”

Beau racked her brain and tried to think of something to say. Again, she was flooded with the realization that she sucked at making any kind of decent conversation most of the time.

“How’s your day?” She felt the words fall from her lips and knew immediately how stupid it sounded. 

“Fucking weird now!” Keg answered back, obviously just as confused and frustrated as Beau.

“Look we don’t want to fight you. We’re sort of….good guys.” Beau still wasn’t sure if she believed herself when she said stuff like that to people. 

Beau heard the cart and horses pulling up behind her, and let out a sigh of relief that she wouldn’t have to keep up the conversation any longer. 

She turned and saw Fjord jumping off the front of the cart with his hands raised in front of him. He had handed Jester the reins of the cart and her horse. 

“We mean no harm, just passing through.” 

Beau could see him eyeing the weapons in Keg’s hands as he spoke. 

Keg started to lower her weapons. Fjord was pretty good at calming people down, it had been one of the first things Beau noticed about him. 

“Now I think I heard you say that you’ve got somewhere to go. Can I ask where that is?” Fjord walked passed Beau and a little closer to Keg. 

“I’ve got business back in Shady Creek Run,” Keg responded, taking a long drag from the cigarette hanging from her mouth. 

“Shady Creek Run?” Fjord repeated, “We’ve heard that place can be a little rough. If you don’t mind, what type of business do you have there?” 

Keg looked at Fjord then Beau and finally at the rest of the group behind them. 

“There are some bad - really bad - people in Shady Creek, people I use to travel with, and they took something from me…” Keg trailed off and looked out into the distance. “Now, if you’re done with all these questions, I have to go.” Keg started to make her way around Fjord, but he stopped her. 

“Hold up.” He held up his hands. “If these people are truly that bad, you shouldn’t try to take them on by yourself.” 

Beau almost rolled her eyes, Fjord’s big heart was going to get him and the rest of them killed one of these days. Though she did admire how much he cared about other people, sometimes in spite of his own well-being. 

Keg looked like Fjord had just slapped her in the face. She took a step back and Beau saw her hand clench the handle of her axe tightly. 

“You don’t know what I’m capable of doing,” Keg’s spoke through a tight jaw. 

“You’re right, you’re right,” Fjord backpedaled. “Listen, we have gained quite a reputation around these parts for getting rid of bad people. Maybe we could come to some sort of arrangement and we could join you on your journey to Shady Creek Run.” 

Keg looked at Fjord a little confused. “You’d help me?” 

“For a price!” 

Beau turned around and saw Nott’s pointed ears peeking out behind Jester’s shoulder. 

Keg seemed mildly interested in their offer. Clearly she hadn’t thought about the actual fight, just the deep vengeance she was feeling for her old friends. 

“Do any of you have booze?” Keg sighed deeply, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna need booze to consider bringing you with me to Shady Creek.” 

Beau didn’t even have to look back this time when she heard a soft thud and short running steps on the dirt road. Nott appeared next to her, slightly out of breath but holding her flask. 

“Did someone say booze?” She asked, shaking her magical flask.

“Yeah, could you help me out? My flask ran out yesterday.” Keg held out a battered metal flask toward Nott. 

“Oh, your flask runs out?” Nott snickered next to Beau, before slowly walking over and giving some of her alcohol to Keg. 

Keg nodded grateful and took a long swig from her flask. Beau watched her face grimace against the harsh liquid scorching her throat. 

“The people that I’m after have a stockpile of treasure in their stronghold. If you want to help me you guys can take what you want. I don’t care about anything, but watching them suffer.” Keg offered, taking another short drink before capping off her flask and storing it in her small leather satchel. 

“Give us a moment.” Fjord held up a finger and motioned to Nott and Beau to join him by the cart. 

They rejoined the rest of the Mighty Nein and Fjord spoke before anyone had a chance. 

“We haven’t had a mission in weeks, let alone something that may give us a chance at some funds.” 

Molly, Jester, and Yasha nodded. Nott looked at Caleb who looked unconvinced. 

“Why put ourselves in danger for someone we have just met?” He asked, stroking the orange cat on his shoulders. 

“Adventure, altruistic reasons, possible treasure.” Molly started to list off reasons, counting them off on his long violet fingers. “And who know maybe some books.” He smirked at Caleb, knowing even the idea of new books would draw him in.

Beau could almost see the words rattle around in Caleb’s mind as he thought them over. After a few long minutes of contemplation he nodded. 

“Fine, but if things go wrong I will not hesitate to remove myself and Nott from the situation.” 

Keg nodded and looked at the entire group one by one. 

“You guys don’t owe me anything. Why are you doing this?” Keg chewed softly on the end of her cigarette stub. 

Beau looked from Fjord to Molly, and then Caleb before turning her head back to Keg.

“I think we all have different reasons for the things we do. The point is we’re all ready to help you bring these guys down.” 

“Alright, to Shady Creek Run.” Keg took one last long swig from her flask and started to head off on the road. 

Beau turned to follow and locked eyes with Yasha. She had almost forgotten about their awkward exchange before meeting Keg. Beau let out a short sigh of relief, this mission gave her a new reason to avoid Yasha. She finally had something to focus on other than the confusion that clouded her mind whenever she saw Yasha. She would take any distraction she could get, even marching toward a deadly fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll ever stop saying this....it's a sllloowww burrrnnn.....also welcome Keg to this fanverse. Let me know what you think! I'm excited to bring Keg more into the fold now. Stay tuned!


	7. Chasing Ghosts

They weren’t able to travel for long before the sun crept below the horizon. Beau wanted to push on, but she was outvoted by a majority of the group. They pulled off the road and into a small wooded area for the night. 

They had been together long enough that everyone knew what they needed to do when setting up their camp for the night. Caleb hopped out of the cart and started walking around their makeshift camp with his silver thread. Nott and Jester set up covering on the cart for the group to rest. Fjord and Beau collected kindling for a small fire. Molly watered and fed the horses, tying them off to some nearby trees. The only members of the group who didn’t seem to have a task were Yasha and Keg. 

Yasha hadn’t stayed with the group long enough to find her place yet. Keg was looking around amazed as the group worked together so well to making a safe place for the night. Beau imagined it had been a while since Keg had been with another person, let alone a group. 

Beau looked from Yasha to Keg quickly before making a decision. 

“Hey.” Beau walked over to Keg and handed her some of the sticks and twigs she had collected. “Want to give me a hand with this?” Beau couldn’t help but try to find Yasha’s face in the corner of her eye. She saw something like hurt and anger mingle in Yasha’s bi-colored eyes, before it disappeared. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, sure,” Keg stammered, taking the pile of sticks from Beau and following her to collect more wood. Beau heard big, loud footsteps behind her and was tempted to look back to see if Yasha was watching, but resisted the urge.

Beau and Keg walked a few feet away from the others and started collecting more kindling. There was a long beat of awkward silence. Beau could tell Keg wanted to say something, but the silence remained. 

“So, what are we walking into at Shady Creek?” Beau finally decided to break the silence. 

“A whole lot of shit,” Keg responded bluntly, adding more sticks to her bundle. “The Iron Shepherds are some of the worst people I’ve ever met.” 

Beau stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Keg. “Didn’t you say you use to travel with them?”

Keg’s shoulders sagged a bit in her heavy armor and her eyes dropped to the dirt floor. 

“Sometimes we do what we have to do to survive.” Keg looked back up at Beau and lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t expect you or anyone to understand.” 

Beau nodded thoughtfully, wondering if she and Keg had more in common than what Beau initially assumed. 

“I think I can understand that.” 

The two women shared a long look and Beau felt something stir in her stomach that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She wasn’t sure if it was just the desire to feel for someone again, or the way Keg looked at her when she spoke. Whatever the reason, Beau had no desire to explore the feelings further right now.

“Well,” Beau cleared her throat and picked up a few more twigs. “We should get these back for the group.”

“Yeah, yeah, for sure,” Keg agreed quickly and started walking back to the rest of the party. 

Beau walked over and saw everyone else was starting to settle in for the evening. Nott and Caleb were sitting by the cart looking over one of Caleb’s books, Jester was doodling furiously in her notebook, while Molly and Fjord pulled out some rations for the group’s meal. The only person Beau didn’t see was Yasha. She thought about asking everyone where Yasha had gone, but it wasn’t like she had a record for sticking around long. 

Beau and Keg walked over to the spot they had designated for the fire and dropped the last of the kindling onto the pile. Beau put a hand on Keg’s chest instinctively and took two big steps back from the wood. Without looking up from his book Caleb launched a fireball from his hand at the pile and everyone watched as it burst into bright flames. Beau felt Keg jump a bit at the sight and noticed she hadn’t moved her hand from the cool metal of her armor. Jester let out a happy squeal and clapped her hands at the now roaring fire. 

“He has a thing with fire,” Beau offered, pulling her hand away and running in along the back of her neck. 

“I can, uh, see that,” Keg responded sheepishly, a pale pink tinge appearing through her scruff. 

The sound of loud cracking and heavy footfalls made everyone’s head turn toward the cart. Yasha appeared on the other side of it, a large buck slung over her right shoulder. 

“I needed a break from that dried meat.” She grunted, pulling the buck off her shoulder, letting it hit the ground in front of Nott and Caleb. 

“Yasha, so powerful and mighty!” Jester declared dramatically, throwing her journal down and putting her wrist to her forehead like she may faint. Beau caught the glance that Jester threw her way as she jumped up and ran over to the dead deer. “I can take care of this for us.” She grabbed the giant animal - easily twice as large as Jester - and carried it off into the shadows to prepare it for a meal. Nott got up from her spot next to Caleb and scurried off to join Jester. 

Beau looked toward Yasha and saw her staring at Keg through the fire. The angular, pale features of Yasha’s face looked almost sinister in the flickering firelight. Beau took a long breath and put a hand on the small of Keg’s back. 

“Let’s sit,” She offered, pointing Keg toward a long, dead log near the fire. Yasha’s eyes left Keg and moved to the bright fire in the middle of the group. 

“We should talk about watch before we all get too full from Yasha’s fine kill.” Fjord gave Yasha a courteous nod and Yasha returned it gratefully. 

“I can be on first watch, it’s the least I can do since your group has been so kind to me,” Keg offered, her body language still showing the guilt and discomfort she was feeling about her current situation.

“I’ll take first watch with Keg,” Beau spoke up quickly, surprising even herself. Her wide eyes scanned the faces around the fire, reaching Yasha’s last. She could see hurt there, and felt a pang of guilt building up in her chest. Though there was another larger part of her that was done waiting around and feeling hurt when Yasha left or didn’t return her feelings. Beau was her own person and she was allowed to be happy, or as close to it as she could get.

After everyone had finished eating they all started to slowly move away from the fire and get settled in for the night. Yasha got up and tossed a bone into the fire, looking to Beau and then Keg before turning and walking into the shadows of the tall trees. 

“She’s intense,” Keg whispered, her eyes locked on the spot where Yasha had disappeared into the woods. 

Beau nodded, staring at the dying fire. “Yeah, I’d say that.” 

The two sat in silence for a while, the only noises coming from the animals in the woods surrounding them and the crackling of the final embers of the fire. 

Beau took a deep breath as a memory started to come back to her. She was sitting a the hard dirt ground with someone else. It had been much colder last time - so cold Beau could see her breath in the air. It had been her watch with Yasha, the memory so clear she felt a cold shiver roll up her spine. 

“You okay?” Keg asked.

Beau cleared her throat, “Uh, yeah. Ghosts...memories.” Beau shook her head trying to clear it. She looked over at Keg and saw that her dark eyes had softened.

“I get that. I’ve got those, too. Ghost memories, they suck.” Keg took a deep breath through her nose and bit her bottom lip. It made Beau wonder what exactly Keg had been through to bring her to this point in her life.

Beau let out a light laugh and closed her eyes, tilting her head up and opening them to look at the few twinkling stars she could see through the canopy of leaves. 

“How do you get rid of them?” Beau asked, trying to focus on the pinpoints of light above her. 

“You don’t,” Keg stated plainly.

Beau’s head snapped back and looked at Keg questioningly. 

“That’s not comforting at all.” 

Keg shrugged helplessly and let her gloved hands rest on her knees. 

“Sorry, but in my experience you just learn to live with the memories.”

Beau stared at Keg the softness in the dwarf’s eyes never fading. 

“Hey,” Keg reached out and put a comforting hand on Beau’s knee. “Our past doesn’t have to define who we are now. Hell, I’m still learning that myself.”

Beau looked down at Keg’s hand and then back up at her. Keg’s eyes grew wide, like she had just realized what she’d done.

I’m-I’m sorry.” Keg moved to take her hand away, but Beau put her hand over Keg’s to stop her. 

“Don’t be.” Beau kept her eyes locked on Keg, neither moving their hands. 

Someone cleared their throat and both women jumped apart. 

“Your watch is over. If you want to go somewhere and get more comfortable.” 

Beau turned around to see Jester’s smirking face. 

Beau rolled her eyes and got up from her spot. 

“Thanks, Jester.” 

Jester skipped over to the log.

“You’re very welcome,” She sang, sitting next to Keg. 

“Who’s on watch with you?” Keg asked standing up.

“Me.” Yasha stepped out of the treeline, almost in the exact spot she had disappeared earlier in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bidet fellow Critter! I hope you're liking this complicated, crazy tale. Let me know what you think!  
> I really like hearing your feedback.


	8. Amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I think we've all come to the conclusion that I'm going off book with this story. I'm going to take aspects of their adventure and I hope all you Critters are okay with that. Please let me know what you think. All your feedback and support for this story has been amazing!!

Beau woke with the sun, the surrounding trees not letting much of the early morning light into their clearing. The filtered bright beams touched different parts of their camp, casting a warm spotlight on Beau’s legs. 

She got up and rubbed her knuckles into her tired eyes. The night before was still fresh in her mind. Yasha being back threw her more than she wanted to admit, but there was something about Keg that intrigued her. 

“Rise and shine, gang. We’ve got to move fast if we want to make it to Shady Creek before nightfall,” Fjord called out to the rest of the group. 

Beau heard movement around her and knew everyone else was starting to wake up. She felt a jolt in her chest at the thought of facing Keg and Yasha for the long march to Shady Creek. Jester came skipping up to Beau before she had more time to spiral into her anxious thoughts.

“Beau!” Jester squatted down in front of Beau and smiled brightly. “Would you like to ride with me?” 

Beau lifted her eyebrows at Jester questioningly. In the time she had known Jester there was usually some sort of catch to everything she asked and did. Beau’s thoughts went back to the Zone of Truth Jester had put on them that started this whole mess. 

“What’s in it for you?” Beau asked, getting up and packing her things up. 

Jester moved around so she could look at Beau again. 

“We need to finish our talk.” Jester winked, handing Beau her small, leather notebook. 

“Jester, I don’t..” Beau shoved the notebook inside her robes and shook her head slowly. She stood up and put her rucksack over her shoulders. 

“Well, when I talk to The Traveler I feel better, even though sometimes he doesn’t answer. You should feel better and talk to someone.” Jester reached up and took Beau’s shoulders and gave them a brief squeeze. 

Beau wasn’t use to people giving a shit and affection of any kind still made all of her awkwardness rush to the surface. 

“I’ll ride with you, but I’m not guaranteeing any talking,” Beau conceded. 

Jester clapped her hands together excitedly and jumped up and down. 

“Good, good. This will be fun!” 

Beau watched Jester skip away toward the cart. She knew Jester was right, Beau needed someone to talk to about everything going on in her head. She just wasn’t sure where or how to begin. 

Beau walked over to the cart when she had finish packing. She heard Keg’s armor before she saw the dwarf. 

“Hi,” Keg greeted Beau meekly, a fresh cigarette hanging from her lips. “Do you want to ride with me to Shady Creek? I mean...not with me because I don’t think we’d both be able to get on the same horse. I mean, like ride at the same speed on the road together. If you want…” 

Beau cracked a little smile at Keg’s awkward stammering, knowing all too well how it felt to be so bad in most social situations. She stopped walking and looked over at Keg. 

“I would, but I already told Jester I’d ride with her.” Beau watched Keg’s face fall a bit before she recovered. 

“Cool, cool, cool,” Keg answered rapidly, pulling the cigarette from her mouth and scratching the scruff on the side of her face. 

“Maybe we can talk when we stop for lunch?” Beau offered, feeling a little bit of guilt. 

“Uh, sure yeah. I should go help Fjord load up. It’s the least I can do, ya know?” Keg responded, putting the hand rolled cigarette back in her mouth before darting off ahead of Beau. 

“Hey.”   
Beau turned around back to the wooded area behind her to see Yasha standing in the shadows of the treeline. “Can we talk for a minute?” 

Beau looked around desperately for any way of getting out of this uncomfortable conversation, but everyone had already made their way to the cart a few feet ahead. 

“Yeah, sure.” Beau walked over, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and chewing on it. 

Beau became hyper aware of everything around her, the birds chirping in the trees above them, the bugs buzzing around, and the low rhythmic sound of her heart beating loudly in her ears. 

“It’s wasn’t a mistake,” Yasha blurted out as Beau stopped in front of her. Yasha closed her eyes tightly in regret and sighed. 

“What?” Beau asked, though she was pretty sure what Yasha was referring to - she wanted to hear Yasha say it. 

Yasha opened her eyes and looked at Beau tenderly. “I don’t regret it, the kiss. I do have feelings for you and I think you have feelings for me too.” 

Beau nodded, the knot in her chest loosening and tightening back immediately. Her breath felt heavy in her throat. “I do. I just wish you didn’t always leave without saying anything. It fucks with me.” 

“I can’t promise that I’ll stick around. I’m not good at it.” 

Beau knew it was true and she didn’t feel like she had any right to tell Yasha to stay, even though that’s all she wanted her to do. 

“I don’t think either of us can handle these type of feelings right now. I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to be hurt either,” Yasha sighed deeply through her nose. “Your friendship does mean a lot to me. Are we okay?” 

“I don’t want to be upset anymore, it sucks. Yeah, we’re fine.” Beau smiled, though her heart felt like it was cracking like glass in her chest. What Yasha was doing was best for both of them right now, that didn’t mean Beau had to like it. 

There was a long moment of silence between them. Beau bounced a little on the balls of her feet, anxious to be done with the conversation. She clapped her hands together and cleared her throat.

“Let’s go kick some ass,” She smiled at Yasha. 

Yasha smiled back and nodded before walking toward the cart. Beau stood by herself for a minute, going over their conversation. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and placed directly on her chest. 

Beau turned and walked over to the cart, throwing her bag into the back and walking toward Jester and her horse. She was a little surprised that Jester wasn’t alone. Keg was sitting on her own horse next to the blue tiefling. 

“Beau, I forgot I told Nott we’d ride together and think of funny names for Shady Creek Run, like Shitty Crap Runs.” Jester giggled and rode off to join Nott ahead of the cart. 

Beau watched Jester disappear and got up on her horse, holding back a smile at Jester’s continuous mischief. 

“Uh, hey.” Keg waved shyly from her horse. “I swear I had no idea she was going to do that.” 

Beau rode up next to Keg and shrugged, “Don’t worry, that’s just Jester. Ready to go?” 

The group started off down the dirt road to Shady Creek Run. The sun rising behind them, warming Beau’s back as they travelled. 

“So, you and Yasha, huh?” Keg asked after about thirty minutes of silence. Beau’s thoughts had taken her away from their journey, but Keg’s question brought her back immediately. 

“What?” She asked, a little shocked by the abruptness of the question.

“I mean...I saw you guys talking. Not that I was spying...I just looked over-saw you guys talking and it looked...private,” Keg stumbled over her words.

Beau felt a heat rising up her neck to her cheeks that had nothing to do with the increasing heat of the sun on her back. 

“Oh no, we aren’t together. Well, we did kiss, but nothing else…” Beau wanted to kick herself, she had no idea why she had chosen this moment to become a fountain of honesty. 

“Shit’s complicated,” Keg looked forward at the cart in front of them. “I was married once for, like, an hour,” Keg confessed, her cigarette sticking a little to her bottom lip as she spoke. 

“Huh..” Beau blinked a few times and nodded, her own eyes drifting to the wooden cart. It was actually nice to have someone to talk to about stupid life stuff. Beau hated to admit it, but she did feel better talking about what happened. Jester had been right. She promised herself that she would never tell Jester that fact. 

They rode on for the next few hours in semi-comfortable silence. Beau kept wondering about Keg’s life and where she had come from before they met her. Everytime she opened her mouth to ask a question about Keg’s past she stopped herself knowing that she’d also have to delve into her own history. 

“Would you rather have super vision or super hearing?” Keg asked, out of nowhere. 

“I guess super hearing since I’ve got my goggles that help in the dark,” Beau answered with a shrug. “Though then I may never sleep because I’d hear everything Jester was doing in the middle of the night.” It was an intriguing question and a good way to pass the time.

“Tricky, right?” Keg smiled. “Your turn.” 

Beau thought for a second, this could be a way to learn a little more about Keg. 

“Would you rather never get mad again or never be jealous again?” Beau asked, glancing over at Keg. 

Keg squinted her eyes, contemplating the question. 

“I’d like to not be jealous. I think anger can be motivating in certain situations,” Keg reasoned.

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Beau nodded, wondering if Keg was the jealous type. 

“Would you rather give up booze or sex for a month?” Keg asked, almost too quickly for Beau to understand. 

Beau’s eyes widened a little at the question, though she knew her answer in an instant. 

“I’ll give up booze, no question,” Beau responded, feeling the familiar heat crawl up her neck again. 

“Yeah...I mean everyone needs a...release sometimes,” Keg cleared her throat. 

The two women looked at each other, neither saying anything as seconds ticked away. Beau could feel the heat that had started at her neck begin to radiate through her body. Her arms and legs tingling as she continued to look into Keg’s eyes. The tingling crept down to her stomach becoming more intense the longer she looked at Keg.

“Whoa! Keg!” Fjord voice came from the front of the cart. Beau released the breath she had been holding as their gaze was broken.

Keg’s eyes darted forward and she pressed her heels into her horses’ side to move forward. Beau followed close behind, curious about the interruption. 

The group had stopped ahead of a curve in the road. Beau hadn’t even noticed them slow and stop.

“What’s going on?” Beau asked, as she and Keg stopped beside Fjord and Molly. 

“This is the entrance to Shady Creek Run,” Keg answered, her eyes glazed over as she looked at the small rock wall that blocked them from sight. “This is your last chance to turn back. Forget you know me.” Keg’s eyes went to everyone in the group. 

“No,” Beau answered first. “We’ve come this far together. Let’s finish this.” 

Everyone else nodded, some a little more reluctantly than others. Keg looked at the group with expression of shock and gratitude in equal measure. 

Keg helped the group disguise and hide themselves as they walked toward the gates of the city. 

“If things so south, it’ll be easier to escape if they don’t know who they are looking for,” Keg explained to them as she stuffed herself into some bedding on top of a horse. 

The guards at the gate gave their party a long look, but with Fjord’s charisma they were able to give the guards some coin to get passed and into the city.

They made their way into the city proper and everyone’s eyes went wide when they finally got a good view of the lawless town. 

“Welcome to Shady Creek Run.”


End file.
